The Impact

Mine:

I am Brooke Ninni Matthews, one of Tim’s sister and the mother of a nephew and niece of Tim’s. As one of Tim’s older sister’s growing up, we had our disagreements and arguments, as siblings do, but we always had a strong bond. The bond became stronger, when our mother became ill, and even stronger at the time of her death, six months prior to Tim’s murder, for all the siblings had was each other to lean on. As I am reminded everyday that I do not have my only brother anymore. I try to move on with the memories he left me, his smile, the sound of his voice, his laughter, the visits on his way home from work, when I’d be standing up at the bus stop, the great big hugs, the brotherly joking and love, the way he ate, the way he brushed his hands over his plate every so often as he ate, the way he wore his hats slightly off to the side, memories I will no longer be able to make anymore. There is nothing left, but a wooden box with his ashes, and a chunk of hair that is kept tucked in my pillow case. The morning I learned of my brother’s murder, I was admitted to the ER because I turned blue and could barely breath. When I was in the ER the doctor on call became very concerned because I already suffered from previous heart problems. I was put on anxiety medicine and was ordered to see a psychologist and my family doctor. The psychologist diagnosed me with PTSD, depression, anxiety/panic attacks. I barely sleep at night because I have nightmares or picture how my brother was murdered, as he was lying there in his blood. Was he alone, was he asking for any of us, what was his last words, etc? As I struggle with this, I have to keep telling myself, to I and his family he was the hero! When I do finally sleep, I tend to sleep for hours, even days at a time, making me unaware of what’s going on with my family and household, leaving my husband and even my 15 year old son having to care for his 10 year old sister. I’m often unaware of things and forgetting to a point that I fear of what I may forget or remember to do. I often feel nauseated, my body aches all the time and I feel as if I am constantly ill. I live in fear everyday for myself and my children, as parents we are suppose to teach our children and allow them to grow, that has not become so easy for since my brother’s murder! I feel as if I need to shelter my children, in fear of what might or could happen, and my fear will only become worse, when my brother’s murderer is released from prison. In 15 years my only son and Tim’s oldest nephew will be about the same age as my brother was at the time of his murder.

 Sincerely, Tim’s sister Brooke Ninni Matthews

My 16 year olds:

My name is Blake Matthews, I’m 15 years old and in 10th grade. Timothy Reber was my uncle, and the only uncle that made time for me, and I’m sad because he can’t go swimming with me anymore. He won’t see me graduate, he won’t see me get married and start a family. I find that I have to watch and help my 9 year old sister more then I did before. My mom has a hard time allowing me to grow up, and do things kids my age are doing. I often think she has gone crazy! My friends don’t visit as much because my mom is always sad and crying, and she doesn’t want my friends to see her in that way. My mom use to be very outgoing and like to go places, now she barely leaves the house, unless she has to. My mom also got a call from my Vo-Tech school telling her my behavior has changed, my grades started dropping and I was using foul language with my peers. I also realize that when this guy is out of jail, I will be exactly that same age as my uncle was, and find that very creepy.

Sincerely, Uncle Tim’s nephew Blake Matthews

My 10 year olds:

Hi I’m  Madeline matthews  and I’m  9 years old and in 4th grade. What that bad guy did, was so horrible, that every one in my family is getting sick! Mostly, me and mom. I even have to go to a psychologist now and have to take antidepressant and anxiety medicine! That morning my uncle Timmy died I was laying in my bed and heard my mom screaming and I didn’t know, what happened , so I suddenly  asked my self, did my uncle Timmy die? Then later that day I went to my aunt Darlene’s house, and they told me. Then I cried. I didn’t cry to much cause I was choked up in tears .Also,I went into my mom’s craft room one day and I told her I missed him. And when I cry that hard I feel empty and dizzy. What that guy did was so horrible. How could he take an innocent person’s life away like that!

Sincerely, Uncle Timmy’s niece Madeline Matthews

Tim’s Years of Tears page

http://www.yearsoftears.org/timreber.html

Guilty Plea

Yesterday on January 28, 2013 Robert W. Pfanders Jr. pleaded guilty of 3rd degree murder, of the murder of my brother Timothy B. Reber. He was sentenced to fifteen to forty years in a state prison. The courtroom was packed, and only seven of those people in the courtroom, being family and friends of the defendants. The majority of the people, were family and friends of the victims, there was not a dry eye in that courtroom! You could hear the sobs, and bawling from in front and behind you as you sat and listen to the DA presenting her evidence, the defense lawyer present his evidence, and the testimonies from us(Tim’s sister’s and father). This is the article from this mornings newspaper                                                                       The father of a 31-year-old man killed in February got right to the point Monday when confronting the man being sentenced for his son’s slaying.

“I feel vindictiveness toward you,” Timothy M. Reber Sr. angrily said to Robert W. Pfanders Jr.

Pfanders was later sentenced to 15 to 40 years in state prison for third-degree murder in the Feb. 10 slaying of Reber’s son, Timothy B. Reber Jr. of Alsace Township.

“My only son was shot,” Reber of Exeter Township said to Pfanders, 26, of Boyertown. “I loved my only son. The hurt will never go away. I have trouble talking about it. He will never be forgotten by anyone.”

A deputy sheriff immediately escorted Reber to his seat in Judge Paul M. Yatron’s packed courtroom.

The victim’s relatives showed photographs of him, describing him as a kind man with a great sense of humor.

The victim’s three sisters, Brittany Reber, 26, and Tracy Kemp, 36, both of Temple, and Brooke Matthews, 40, of Exeter Township, wept as they shared how they suffer nightmares and other health issues over his slaying.

Kemp looked at Pfanders and told him an angel is watching over her family.

“He (her brother) has a laugh that is contagious,” she said. “At his memorial there were over 300 guests. I am hurt and angry. I think of the man who took my brother’s life with sadness.”

Matthews testified she has nightmares about how her brother was murdered.

“In our family he was our hero,” she said. “I feel as though I am constantly ill. I feel as though I have to shelter my children.”

Brittany Reber said life has been a nightmare since her brother was killed.

“Did he suffer?” she asked. “I can’t get away from this overwhelming feeling of sadness. He was far too young to die.”                                                                                                           We heard testimonies from Pfanders himself and Pfanders mother, Pfanders mother stating that he came home and said something horrible had happened, and what if he had kids, in response to that Pfanders mother then gave him NyQuil and told him to sleep on it. What mother gives a child NyQuil after they’ve confessed to a murder, and then tells them to sleep on it? I know I should not judge a mother’s actions, because I know myself I don’t know what I’d do if any of my children would confess to a murder, but I’m pretty sure I would want my child to take full responsibility for their action for the victims family and loved ones. The DA said there will be no amount of time that could ever spare the pain we have and will endure for the rest of our lives, but to risk the possibility that he could have only been found guilty of manslaughter, and only served one to five years in prison, would have been damaging and unfair to us(Tim’s family). I take pleasure in knowing he will be in a state prison, for at least fifteen years, and that I do have the right to write into the parole board, if in fifteen years he is released, as to why he should not be. I am thankful to all the family and friends who support us, and those who took time out of their mornings and day, to be at the hearings and trial with the family. I am very thankful to the DA and her team members, for doing what they thought was best and right for the our family. I am also thankful for all the time and help our victims advocate put in to our family. I send my sincere thanks to the Honorable Judge Yatron. I now leave you with this! Yesterday was a pretty intense and emotional day for our family, but he is now sentenced and hopefully we can move on with our lives. It will not heal or mend our broken hearts…. ever! It is something we will never fathom or get over! It is not something that can be cured or repaired with a band aid! We will always have Tim in our hearts, mind, memories, and we will live our life through him. He will be our angel looking over and out for us, and I do believe he will always give us some sort of little signs that he is still with us.