The One Who Made Life Easy

My Mother

As the first day of school creeps up  upon us, and we are getting them ready for back to school, I found it depressing. Not only because I’m a lot like my mother and want my children home all the time with me, like she did. Oh, of course they drive me batty and I feel at times they are going to drive me out of my cotton picking mind! I dreaded the so called back to school shopping! Why did I dread the back to school shopping this year? Could it be because my son was 16 and the price and style of clothes for that age was ridiculous? Then I have my daughter who is 10 and is doing Cyber School. Did she really need to go back to school shopping?  What did she need clothes for if she was going to be home? I guess she didn’t need clothes, if I want her to walk around the house nude! It was then I thought….. I’m a stay home mom! What do I need clothes for? It’s not the fact of getting up and having to go out in public! It’s the fact and idea, that you start your day off getting up, getting dress, brush your teeth, etc! After I just spent $230 at Ikea to make my daughter a work station for her first year of Cyber School! I know needed to go back to school clothes shopping! Of, course I did. How would that have been fair if I told my son he couldn’t get new clothes for back to school, but I could spend $230 for a work station for my daughter! So, off to school shopping we went. As we are American Eagle, my son is picking out his back to school clothes. My son isn’t bad when it comes to picking out his clothes and doesn’t walk around in the style clothes that most of these young kids walk around in! I am a proud mom of both my kids, when it comes to their dressing style. Sure, they may where a shirt with a team, musical artist, saying, etc I don’t like, but if that’s worst they can do…. I’m all for it! As my son started his first day on the 26th of August and I had to take my daughter to meet her Cyber teacher, and don’t drive. It was then that it hit me! It wasn’t that I dreaded back to school shopping. I dreaded it because, back to school shopping was something I did with my mother, and not only did we do it together, it was her who bought whatever it was that the kids needed! I didn’t dread meeting my daughter’s teacher, just because it seem like an inconvenience. It was because it was something my mother and I would have done together, and we had a way to and from! It’s been 2 years on August 10th 2013 that my beloved mother had gained her Angel wings, and it wasn’t until then, that I realized how easily she made my life. Don’t ever think that after you are grown, married, and have children of your own, you will no longer need your mother, because that simply is not true! I am 40 years old and I think I need my mother more now then I ever had in my childhood years!

The last goodbye, but not our last hello

                    I Remember that phone call, when you said you were going out and you really wanted me to go out to hang out with you that night. I was downstairs doing wash and we were having a nice conversation, about going out. The night that we went out was January 28th of 2012, our friend Julie picked me up, and we headed to the bar to meet you. When we got there, we took the seats behind you, as  you sat there and ate. As we settled in, it didn’t take long until I moved over to the table you were sitting at, and took the seat next to you, as we sat together. We talked about mom, Blake, and family in general, we had a few drinks, talked, laughed and had a blast! You had  smile on your face like I’ve never seen on you the thirty one years I’ve known you. Your smile was so bright that it lit up the bar room! The band was playing, it was loud, but we didn’t care, as we stood there talking and have the best time a sister could have with her baby brother. Then we heard the band start playing “Come Together” by the Beatles, as the band was singing, we stood at the table side by side and danced and sang to the song. Still smiling as bright as ever, and enjoying every minute with my brother, and as I stood there, I felt you come up from behind me, and I felt the biggest, tightest hug, I’ve ever felt, as you gave me that hug, someone snapped a photo, and then another photo of us. Memories that will always be with me and in my heart. I look at these photos and can still feel that big, tight hug, the warmth from your arms wrapped around me, and the softness of your hands in mine, your smell, and your breath in my hair, as you stood behind me. The softness of your cheek against mine, and the brushing of your facial hair, as we drank our  last drinks, and our last shots. I was sad to see the night, slowly coming to a end, and almost time to part. As I was getting ready to go, I gave you a hug, and kissed your neck ever so gently, never knowing that it would be our last hug, last photo, last kiss, an all our other lasts. It may have been our last goodbye, but certainly not our last hello, for someday, when it’s my time to come home to where you are, it will then be our last hello. For now, you are with me wherever I go, for your spirit is in my heart, soul, and life, it walks beside me all the days. I know it to be true, you give me signs that you are near and dear, and I should never fear, as you protected me in body, as you do in spirit. My heart where you once were alive is shattered, and it can never be repaired, for you were my only baby brother, and the first man who won my heart, until we meet again and say our last hello.